Then and Now: Halloween

For years, I have felt like some kind of prude when I look at Halloween costumes. Each year it seems the costumes (especially for women) get more revealing, more trampy. Halloween parties, as an adult, have really become an excuse to drink excessively and release one's sexual inhibitions--inhibitions which normally serve a good purpose, i.e. boundaries.

Last year, my husband and I went to a Halloween party thrown by a coworker. The party was lavish, and huge. Many, many people from the facility I work in were there, and displayed some appalling behavior. There was a lot of alcohol. I enjoyed visiting with friends, and I did drink, but I was fairly shocked by some of the things that people who work together all the time were doing. My husband was there, but didn't know many people there. Surrounded by excessive drinking, he visited for a little while but then slunk off into a corner. I imagine it wasn't much fun for him: it was hard even for me to recognize people I didn't know well when they were in costume, and he didn't drink socially because, like many alcoholics, he didn't drink in public. (At the time I didn't realize that he was binge-drinking in private on a regular basis.)

This year, we spent Halloween at a SA/S-Anon retreat. There was no mention of the holiday at the retreat. I am sure that Halloween is pretty triggering for recovering SAs--and their mates, for that matter. Instead, we had several outstanding speakers, lots of meetings, and time to socialize with other people in recovery from the region. It was really nice.

The company party happened again, bigger and better than ever, but it was a relief not to go this year. The excessive drinking and sexual behavior is uncomfortable to me now, and would have been even less fun for hubby if he decided to accompany me. I like dressing up in costume, but it's hard to have fun with hundreds of people you hardly know, especially when their behavior is making you uncomfortable, and especially after recovery has shown you the dangers of this kind of behavior. It's not something I want in my life right now.